I am far from Julie Andrews…..this is my version of the classic Christmas song. Sing along with me.

Stores decorated 

In early October

Pressure and panic I have fallen behind

Credit cards maxed out with so much to buy

Eggnog and Xanax to help me get through it

Gluten-free, dairy free 

Vegan for dinner 

Small talk with relatives I hardly know

These are a few of my favorite things

Kids home from college with bags full of laundry

Annoying Facebook posts everyone’s smiling

Wrapping paper, boxes, crap everywhere

These are a few of my favorite things

Move the damn elf

Where is my drink

When I am feeling stressed 

I simply remember the day will soon end

And then I don’t feel so bad

My holiday cards

Shit, I never did mail

Kids making TikToks, political talk

Someone’s offended the fighting begins

These are a few of my favorite things

Dishes all over and no one has noticed

Dog craps on carpet 

And uncle steps in it

When will everyone get out of my house?

These are a few of my favorite things

Move the damn elf

Where is my drink

When I am feeling stressed 

I simply remember the day will soon end

And then I don’t feel so bad

This piece was originally posted on Bluntmoms.com